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In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing（吼叫） baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Dont get excited, Albert; dont scream, Albert; dont yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended（称赞，表扬） for trying to soothe（安慰） your son, Albert."The man looked at her and said, "Lady, Im Albert."一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。"站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。”男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特。Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees."Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to see you.“你相信人死后仍有生命吗？”老板问他的一个员工。“是的，先生。”这个新员工回答说。“哦，那么，这样说来一切就很正常了，” 老板继续说，“在你今早离开，去参加你奶奶的葬礼，她来看你了。”As the taxi came to a screeching（尖叫） halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that Time is money?""Well, its a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered."Look, the digits in the meter（仪表） are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at the meter."Oh, yes. Youve got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.当出租车在遇到红灯急刹车时，我问司机：“你同意‘时间就是金钱’这种说法吗？”“哦，这是一个普遍说法。在这个问题上，谁会在意那么多呢？”司机回答说。“看，在车已经停止的情况下，里程表上的数字还在跑。”我指着里程表说。“哦，是的。你说的挺有道理的。在这种情况下，时间对我们俩来说都是金钱。”司机补充说。Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job."Why did the foreman（领班） fire you?" the friend asked in surprise."Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work.""We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?""Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."皮特告诉他的朋友他刚刚丢掉了工作。“为什么领班会开除你？”朋友诧异地问。“哦，”皮特说，“你知道领班是什么样的人。他们总是把手插在口袋了，站在旁边看其他人工作。”“我们知道是这样。”朋友回答说。“但是为什么他会让你走？”“嫉妒。”皮特回答。“其他所有的工人都认为我是领班。”Do you call that a hat? I said to my wife. You neednt be so rude about it, my wife answered as she looked at herself in the mirror. I sat down on one of those modern chairs with holes in it and waited. We had been in the hat shop for half an hour and my wife was still in front of the mirror. We mustnt buy things we dont need, I remarked suddenly. I regretted saying it almost at once. You neednt have said that, my wife answered. I neednt remind you of that terrible tie you bought yesterday. I find it beautiful, I said. A man can never have too many ties. And a woman cant have too many hats, she answered. Ten minutes later we walked out of the shop together. My wife was wearing a hat that looked like a lighthouse!参考译文 “你把那个叫帽子吗？”我对妻子说。 “你说话没必要这样不客气，”我的妻子边回答边照着镜子。 我坐在一个新式的满是网眼儿的椅子上，等待着。我们在这家帽店已经呆了半个小时了，而我的妻子仍在镜子面前。 “我们不应该买我们不需要的东西，”我突然发表意见说，但马上又后悔说了这话。 “你没必要这么说，”我妻子回答说，“我也不必提醒你昨天买的那条糟糕透了的领带。” “我觉得它好看，”我说，“男人有多少领带也不会嫌多。” “女人有多少帽子也不嫌多。”她回答。 10分钟以后，我们一道走出了商店。我妻子戴着一顶像灯塔一样的帽子。
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